The Frustration of Parent/Teacher Conferences

I had my most dreaded conference today - my "both as his teacher & if he were MY son, I would not send him to kindergarten next year". :::pours drink:::

After my student's mother rescheduled 4 times - which irks me to no end, seeing as I view that as 2 hours worth of spots the other parents could have been filling - it was a complete waste of a half an hour.

She says she doesn't know how to control him at home when he demands to play with toys instead of doing what she asks him to do. He has free rein of the tv & DVD's. She's a stay at home mom, but doesn't spend any time with him - no real conversation, no reading to him, no sitting & teaching through play. What the hell is the use of being a stay at home mom if you won't interact with your child! I would KILL to be in your shoes. I would give ANYTHING to be able to have those years back & do them all over with my girls. Not do them differently, just again.

This child is allowed to stay up until 9 & his mother brings him to school "when he wakes up" (usually 10). I CAN'T TEACH YOUR CHILD IF HE ISN'T IN CLASS!!! I suggested that maybe she might want to bring him at 9 (allowing him to be in BOTH groups) in an attempt to catch up & then perhaps she pick him up at the "half-day" mark and work with him while his sister naps. No, she says she likes to have time in the afternoon to get things done.

I explained to her that he should at least know the letter that his name begins with... she countered with "well one of the teachers can work extra with him in the afternoon". I told her that I was concerned that he didn't know the difference between numbers & letters, let alone what you do with them. "He's just not interested in learning at home so I let him play." I told her that his lack of fine motor skills is extremely concerning - she says he doesn't like to color or use a pencil so she doesn't make him. I told her that his social and verbal and coping skills are hovering at about a 2 year old level & she asked if we had workbooks we could give him to work on. Workbooks? For social & verbal skills?

:::sigh::: Lady, I'm beginning to come to grips with the fact that I can't fix in 5 months what you've taken 5 years to screw up.

I have to realize that there are just some instances that you try as hard as you can & no matter what, the outcome will be unfavorable. I have to accept that even wishing it & willing it & working at it with all your heart doesn't magically make things happen. I have a hard time letting go of the "well, what if I did____" and "what if I had pushed him harder".

But then I look into the shining faces of my other 21 kids and am amazed at how far they've come. My rag-tag bunch of monkeys that I love with all my heart - the reasons I continue to teach with sub-par wages & waves of wet pants and biting that come with a full moon or north wind. One of my students was a left in a dumpster when born, one was abandoned in the streets of India before being adopted & coming to America a year ago, 2 have autism & one was born with massive head abnormalities. We've worked on individual goals ranging from sitting still for 4 minutes to dealing with sensory overload to abandonment issues to reading Step 1 books. Even with all the frustration & hurdles & challenges, I look at my little ones & see that the only child I'm recommending stay back is a child of privilege whose every whim is catered to.

I'm overcome and humbled at how strong & spirited & absolutely brilliant my class is.

My class has taught ME this year. ♥